Tuesday, December 30, 2008

A TREE I INTEND ON VISITING

A day spent waiting
a marked man of sorts
tall dark and handsome
giant sequoia looking murderous
in the magazine

women must realize they like tall things
tallest of all
but by volume mostly
one may reflect upon ones small place in nature
if one must
in the eyes of women
and or trees

not to mention the endless changing of magnificence in a trees foliage
like dresses or bras
panty hose or partners

There was something staggering in General Shermans disregard for the souths landscapes

but for large Sequoias to inhabit the north they must be grown at certain elevations


and at 7,500 feet this sequoia belt lies mostly within protected forests
which northern generals are not presently allowed too burn

A TREE I INTEND ON VISITING

A TREE I INTEND ON VISITING

A day spent waiting
a marked man of sorts
tall dark and handsome
giant sequoia looking murderous
in the magazine

women must realize they like tall things
tallest of all
but by volume mostly
one may reflect upon ones small place in nature
if one must
in the eyes of women
and or trees

not to mention the endless changing of magnificence in a trees foliage
like dresses or bras
panty hose or partners

There was something staggering in General Shermans disregard for the souths landscapes

but for large Sequoias to inhabit the north they must be grown at certain elevations


and at 7,500 feet this sequoia belt lies mostly within protected forests
which northern generals are not presently allowed too burn

Monday, December 29, 2008

Last Thoughts On Woody Guthrie- Bob Dylan

When yer head gets twisted and yer mind grows numb
When you think you're too old, too young, too smart or too dumb
When yer laggin' behind an' losin' yer pace
In a slow-motion crawl of life's busy race
No matter what yer doing if you start givin' up
If the wine don't come to the top of yer cup
If the wind's got you sideways with with one hand holdin' on
And the other starts slipping and the feeling is gone
And yer train engine fire needs a new spark to catch it
And the wood's easy findin' but yer lazy to fetch it
And yer sidewalk starts curlin' and the street gets too long
And you start walkin' backwards though you know its wrong
And lonesome comes up as down goes the day
And tomorrow's mornin' seems so far away
And you feel the reins from yer pony are slippin'
And yer rope is a-slidin' 'cause yer hands are a-drippin'
And yer sun-decked desert and evergreen valleys
Turn to broken down slums and trash-can alleys
And yer sky cries water and yer drain pipe's a-pourin'
And the lightnin's a-flashing and the thunder's a-crashin'
And the windows are rattlin' and breakin' and the roof tops a-shakin'
And yer whole world's a-slammin' and bangin'
And yer minutes of sun turn to hours of storm
And to yourself you sometimes say
"I never knew it was gonna be this way
Why didn't they tell me the day I was born"
And you start gettin' chills and yer jumping from sweat
And you're lookin' for somethin' you ain't quite found yet
And yer knee-deep in the dark water with yer hands in the air
And the whole world's a-watchin' with a window peek stare
And yer good gal leaves and she's long gone a-flying
And yer heart feels sick like fish when they're fryin'
And yer jackhammer falls from yer hand to yer feet
And you need it badly but it lays on the street
And yer bell's bangin' loudly but you can't hear its beat
And you think yer ears might a been hurt
Or yer eyes've turned filthy from the sight-blindin' dirt
And you figured you failed in yesterdays rush
When you were faked out an' fooled white facing a four flush
And all the time you were holdin' three queens
And it's makin you mad, it's makin' you mean
Like in the middle of Life magazine
Bouncin' around a pinball machine
And there's something on yer mind you wanna be saying
That somebody someplace oughta be hearin'
But it's trapped on yer tongue and sealed in yer head
And it bothers you badly when your layin' in bed
And no matter how you try you just can't say it
And yer scared to yer soul you just might forget it
And yer eyes get swimmy from the tears in yer head
And yer pillows of feathers turn to blankets of lead
And the lion's mouth opens and yer staring at his teeth
And his jaws start closin with you underneath
And yer flat on your belly with yer hands tied behind
And you wish you'd never taken that last detour sign
And you say to yourself just what am I doin'
On this road I'm walkin', on this trail I'm turnin'
On this curve I'm hanging
On this pathway I'm strolling, in the space I'm taking
In this air I'm inhaling
Am I mixed up too much, am I mixed up too hard
Why am I walking, where am I running
What am I saying, what am I knowing
On this guitar I'm playing, on this banjo I'm frailin'
On this mandolin I'm strummin', in the song I'm singin'
In the tune I'm hummin', in the words I'm writin'
In the words that I'm thinkin'
In this ocean of hours I'm all the time drinkin'
Who am I helping, what am I breaking
What am I giving, what am I taking
But you try with your whole soul best
Never to think these thoughts and never to let
Them kind of thoughts gain ground
Or make yer heart pound
But then again you know why they're around
Just waiting for a chance to slip and drop down
"Cause sometimes you hear'em when the night times comes creeping
And you fear that they might catch you a-sleeping
And you jump from yer bed, from yer last chapter of dreamin'
And you can't remember for the best of yer thinking
If that was you in the dream that was screaming
And you know that it's something special you're needin'
And you know that there's no drug that'll do for the healin'
And no liquor in the land to stop yer brain from bleeding
And you need something special
Yeah, you need something special all right
You need a fast flyin' train on a tornado track
To shoot you someplace and shoot you back
You need a cyclone wind on a stream engine howler
That's been banging and booming and blowing forever
That knows yer troubles a hundred times over
You need a Greyhound bus that don't bar no race
That won't laugh at yer looks
Your voice or your face
And by any number of bets in the book
Will be rollin' long after the bubblegum craze
You need something to open up a new door
To show you something you seen before
But overlooked a hundred times or more
You need something to open your eyes
You need something to make it known
That it's you and no one else that owns
That spot that yer standing, that space that you're sitting
That the world ain't got you beat
That it ain't got you licked
It can't get you crazy no matter how many
Times you might get kicked
You need something special all right
You need something special to give you hope
But hope's just a word
That maybe you said or maybe you heard
On some windy corner 'round a wide-angled curve

But that's what you need man, and you need it bad
And yer trouble is you know it too good
"Cause you look an' you start getting the chills

"Cause you can't find it on a dollar bill
And it ain't on Macy's window sill
And it ain't on no rich kid's road map
And it ain't in no fat kid's fraternity house
And it ain't made in no Hollywood wheat germ
And it ain't on that dimlit stage
With that half-wit comedian on it
Ranting and raving and taking yer money
And you thinks it's funny
No you can't find it in no night club or no yacht club
And it ain't in the seats of a supper club
And sure as hell you're bound to tell
That no matter how hard you rub
You just ain't a-gonna find it on yer ticket stub
No, and it ain't in the rumors people're tellin' you
And it ain't in the pimple-lotion people are sellin' you
And it ain't in no cardboard-box house
Or down any movie star's blouse
And you can't find it on the golf course
And Uncle Remus can't tell you and neither can Santa Claus
And it ain't in the cream puff hair-do or cotton candy clothes
And it ain't in the dime store dummies or bubblegum goons
And it ain't in the marshmallow noises of the chocolate cake voices
That come knockin' and tappin' in Christmas wrappin'
Sayin' ain't I pretty and ain't I cute and look at my skin
Look at my skin shine, look at my skin glow
Look at my skin laugh, look at my skin cry
When you can't even sense if they got any insides
These people so pretty in their ribbons and bows
No you'll not now or no other day
Find it on the doorsteps made out-a paper mache

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

IM GONNA STICK AROUND FOR AWHILE

Does my resemblance match my previous one?
Only other people change
I don’t
I take cars places only to return by foot
I take care in my
belief that things return themselves to things themselves
and for the magazines to say that the latest model is perfect and profound
is irritating
For I’ve designed it
my big bureaucracy finding itself not sufficient
and a I
a big joke and
a big government increasing elder care and abuse profoundly
in the retirement homes
next to gorgeous brooks
babbling like television talk shows
like wheel chair blues churning
powered by pills and free will
turned by the loss of the family farm into
walmart coffee shop oil change parking lots
I wish someone would take up where they left off
the sting of resentment in the dull drums of retirement
a great silence at a church pot luck
who stole the offering plates?
Who placed dollar signs beneath christ our lord?

Saturday, December 6, 2008

free wine

Saw my professor drunk
at the wine tasting
big white beard and flannel judging me
while
at the broken down farm house
I encounter glowing orbs
Asking questions
“ how many acres in a quarter section?”
Incapacitating those who answer incorrectly

Monday, December 1, 2008

In Minneapolis with three sociopaths

the art museum was a sham
you laid on your back
belittling the paint blotches
and steel sculptures

spiting on my boots pretending to be cute
lifting your dress to gain reactions

after showing your women hood
you left me sneering in the video Installation room

The Snow and the remains of this autumn
Flashing by in a whirl of grey

More drinks to counter act previous drinks
to Complement the afternoon
You proclaim

Contemplating the ills in which we had committed the previous evening
I find you in the court yard
do you remember the red wine stains you made
getting sick on the hotel linens?

professed your love and readiness for my sister
making a
drunken mess of each other at restaurants

surviving multiple elevator rides
blurting profanities like Champions
you pull me in
cursing each others love and taste for viciousness
we sleep in the car

Friday, November 28, 2008

Mascara

Mascara
Blowing acorns out of the trees bandit eyes!
Its you bandit eyes
high with the sun in the afternoon
you and I like brothers
buried under an oak
stricken with cholera
perched high above the river
hovering
if one could only listen
if one could only understand
what the stark white tree skeletons had to say
in the warm scantily clad September evening
your eyes are eyes
bandit eyes
in song the boundless aches of the heart
in the distancea large woodpile
a hound with a pleasant howl
tactlessly treeing an animal pleasing its master
big brown beautifulbandit eyes !
would the drilled holes in the hedge bring youreyes to tears bandit eyes?
eyes are eyes none the less
and your still Three sheets two the wind
roaming these hills
spanning an area from the bird cage bridge
to the windmill and cabin at hack berry hollow
where the warm cocoon once emergedand slowly slipped me into sleep
some where frozen amongst coyotes and coons
snow leaving the logs helpless

Monday, November 24, 2008

how I used up all my text msg

11/13/2008
Dunno low on cash

11/13/2008 659 pm
Hit me up sometime for a drinky drink

11/15/2008 139 pm
you still at that fucking tea place?

11/15/2008 228 PM
your success depends on your succesfulness

11/15/2008 234 PM
Id kill for a BIG RED PARTY

11/15/2008 427 PM
start driving up here

11/15/2008 740 PM
hey Parker can I talk too you?

11/15/2008 839 PM
BARS?

11/15/2008 850 PM
you called?

11/15/2008 904 PM
I wanna drink with ya

11/15/2008 924 PM
My room

11/15/2008 925PM
vvvwhatt????

11/16/2008 241 AM
your real cute ill talk to
you when im not drunk
and all philosophical

11/16/2008 1247 PM
she dont like her eggs all runny
she thinks crossing her legs is funny

11/16/2008 115 PM
did we talk about god and shit last night?
o noooo

11/16/2008 203 PM
after some deep contimplation and some real
soul searching my stance on america has not changed
I most def pro American

11/16/2008 558 PM
at the LIB whats up?

11/17/2008 1247 PM
Nudez and flight wheel

11/17/2008 843 PM
huh?

11/17/2008 900PM
kinda wanna drink

11/18/2008 1000 PM
watchin the cool hand luke dare boss

Sunday, November 23, 2008

11/11/2008 508 PM
Hey ryan! are you having a good tuesday?

11/11/2008 840 PM
whats up?

11/12/2008 804 pm
Poetry at eight?

11/13/2008 349PM
Bye all I will miss you see wu sunday

11/13/2008 543 PM
Oh hey man :) just got out of class. Good timing
Nothing really just on my way home. What up?

11/13/2008 625 PM
You alive?

11/13/2008 700 PM
Hell yeah! what are you doing tonight?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Regarding Ed Harris's renovation of his train Depot

Daniel took me to the depot and rattled me with his fathers rail road stories
hoped to envision the click clack of the Union Pacific

hoped to see the ghost switch men’s
lantern appear in a stranded box car or maybe an abused caboose

big empty boxes
betraying the dusty ground
with steel and peeling paint

in the afternoon
the depot would bustle
hammering in the attic
weary glances into the cellar

crumbling roof made from
red clay shingles
vines climbing the shady side
hired men napping under itat lunch

Once we raced these trains with our schwinns
lobbing rocks like bandits
envisioned our self’s as hobos
pretening to be on the run

as we played
Daniels father filled the empty halls with lumber and swears
stacking cinder blocks in the cellar
To protect the foundation of what he loved
And what he had left of the past

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Moody Affairs with the Country side

Fantastic blues and everything is still ruined
I spend my mornings grumbling at ghosts
whilst Viciously picking up distress signals from my neighbors barn
What has it seen?
Does it know something I don’t?
Does moonlight skip within its corridors when no ones around?
I myself am still sick with moonlight
Wild birds as reckless as me in my morning stupor
Wild birds and she’s still picking flowers
Approaching goldenrod with caution
Avoiding the hanging of cloths in the frail breeze
Her Black hair gracing me in the sunlit afternoon
As the sky develops in cloud bursts
and the country side needs her reflection more than I
For I’ve been climbing trees looking for silhouettes for days
God given wits about me
howling while floating above Bur Oaks in the evening
Why cant the trees auburn colors be perpetual?
Why must I rely only on smoke signals to contact friends in cities?
Friends whose expressions preserved the still Kansas plains in me
Friends whose combines churned my endless doldrums into dust
Causing midnight itself to groan
Fantastic Bluesand im finding myself worshiping arachnids more often
Painstakingly praying to Genes in hollows
Absently Staring at light in windows
Windows of the seven houses im afraid of
houses whose invitations were shattering
now nestled between river bluffs and hills
Built by the nameless forsaken by the thoughtless
Must one only be concerned with Ghosts and birds in past lives?
Must one concern themselves with other things?
I will continue to Concern myself with the houses im afraid of
Or even the ships on my fathers wall
Stranded but graceful
stationary
but there

Monday, November 3, 2008

Self righteous son of a bitch

just Thursday collected samples of vine maple
in the park

slept with a feminist
and ate meat in front of vegetarians

ran downtown with Teddy
avoided his advances
and bought none of my own drinks

should have realized
I should have left sooner
with the tattooed women
sitting next to me
her
with green eyes on her hands
and a pierced chest

picked up friends from parties with broken arms
and insulted their intelligence
put their lives in danger
on command and on the spot

did not impress Maxine with my lack hip hop
ability

waved down police only to be arrested
and bashed against drunk tank floors
with strangers

self rightous

Collected Vine Leaf Maple just last Thursday
decided to stick with what im sticken with


slept with a feminist

ate meat in front of the vegetarians

waved down police cars
and was
arrested for it

left friends for dead
and
hid paraphernalia

hardly impressed Maxine
by not dancing to the hip hip hop hop

picked up by friends from parties with broken arms
and vomit scars
insulted there intelligence
and risked their lives
on purpose
and on command

ran downtown with Teddy
brushed into bars
bought none of my own drinks
made excuses
avoided advances by men
and disappointed him

digested drugs
left with tattooed women
disappointed gays with my indulgence
of trashey women

regretted not leaving sooner
hid from the eyes on her hands
didnt know id enjoy hands on arms

ate with married couples
and played board games with there children

woke up and sobbed
regreting my lack of
less imorality

Sunday, October 26, 2008

summary of recent letters and phone calls

Received word my mothers picking apples with poets again
Fresh breeze
and a glance of the loess hills
cause
the apples to scatter
beneath her sixty year old feet
Apples aging too

While legends here are making a mess of things
friends are dipping in
slowly agreeing
Drinking to much
Proclaiming truth
Portraying unjust demeanors
Portraying what once was

How would you know?
Pompous old man
Would you not understand the buildings built into my upbringing?
John Falters paintings
The shoppers
The decorations down town
made from holly

jeeps
Run down and dangerous at the
Ye-Olde time tavern
Anhydrous buried in the Christmas trees

Nebraska have other men scrawled their names on your school houses
as ive been absent?
left me with motorcycle dreams and hangovers
water towers and elementry schools
left my friend Jake with a baby boy and a trampled dream
must you always tell us what to do?
must the slackers and make believers at the gas stations
proclaim us friends
sobbing stoned in Jack Genes shed
with old men
drunk with your car keys
with machine shed blues
sitting pretty
sluggishly unscathed

Friday, October 17, 2008

Phone call from Banjo girl

hey there ummm
so I had a dream about a Hemlock last night
and I think I can use conductive reasoning
to figure out how to find a hemlock in Bend
if we can figure out the setting of my dream
we can find the tree
I know it was a Western hemlock
and I know I saw those little pine cones
so if you see any of those little pines cones
anywhere
than mark that down on your list
for a possible spot for a Hemlock sample
for your collection

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The shed is not the barn

Following the river to your home
You show me the shed
In which your brothers hid arrowheads
and scared you with stories of Indians

your fathers tractor sits blank
next to the barn
and I ponder his whereabouts

I fail at convincing you that the fog is preventing my departure
And scam a few more moments

In which
you pick cockle burs from my hair
o so subtlety
handing me each one
as if to show me the trouble I had gotten into

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

3 am in Omaha with Justin

young pink haired girl
vomiting in the kitchen
and your stealing sandwiches and offering me cigarettes
we search for booze
relentlessly
and eye the hipsters bikes and vinyl
upstairs someone’s fucking
and outside the trash blows through the construction cones
like a son of a bitch

Sunday, October 5, 2008

If I was there I would call myself here

the Nemaha river stinks
and
the pricks have offered me a cold beer once again

I can talk to people in distant places
with my small telephone

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Phone call from Chino Latinos

hey i just thought id let u know that I finally got a martini
and I’m drinking it right now
and its um actually not to bad
its um
actually a pretty nice martini
like its a little bit salty but not to much salty
it has a little like u know
it has

a little bit sweat taste to it
its working out pretty good for me
u know this martini is defiantly good
and actually to tell u the truth these people I’m drinking this martini with right now
happen to be
from a Seattle
they live in Seattle
this other guy I’m with lives in Bismarck North Dakota
and you know
Seattle and Oregon are kind of comfortable
they both have trees
they have a lot of trees
totally dude if u get a chance u should try this martini
like i could put in a box and ship it too you
its a really good martini
your always looking for that
you would really like it Jenkins

Friday, September 26, 2008

Oregon

everyone in Oregon loves Oregon
everyone in Oregon smokes weed and snowboards in Oregon

everyone in Oregon talks about how much they love Oregon
and how much everyone else in Oregon loves to smoke weed and snowboard in Orgon

I like to tell everyone im from Nebraska and that im not from Oregon
and that in Nebraska we dont snowboard but talk about smoking weed in Oregon

SPRAWL

SPRAWL

since things are only getting worse
the landlord hereby leases to the tenant

for the land describes itself
its unique form projected
its desolate movement brandished

the observer the prospector
taking the value down
brushing up
scuffing it with the human touch
approaching it from the west
or maybe the south relentlessly
gawking possibly over its terraces
complaining about trees or lack there of
for this is the form land takes when we discard it
thistles and barb wire only traps for children
cliffs to fall from for dreamers

land in this form is only space
don’t touch the land unless your ready

formless playground
now and then a good frolic in bright meadows

the wind whisperers only to ride upon your collar
the trees built only to shade your lover
don’t drive in the blight to deeply
remain unsympathetic
turn the soil carefully andbare the brunt that is needed
since things are only getting worse

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Tegans last words

When saying goodbye to Tegan his sincerity always shines through,

Tegan: Remember Ryan its your god given right as a man to be a womanizer and a drunk,
now get out of my life!