NEBRASKA CITY NEBRASKA
I am making maps
I don’t want to make no more maps of Oregon mama!
I want to make maps of home
I want maps of corn mazes !
and railroad tracks I’ve pissed on
railroad tracks I’ve given into stubbornly
houses I’ve drank booze in deservingly
Ill make these maps in my head one at a time
scratching my beardwhile the time continues accordingly
Im in no means consumed
By the carelessness of time
shapes appearing
recklessly
hanging on to these splints
I Organize them into packs
hoped to organized them into stanzas
while naysayers observed
but the gathering of needs i needed exemplified
in Februarys stale motionless depiction of Jesus’ s cross
In John Falter’s grand daughter Sierra's Kiss
amongst his down town glorifications
of Christmas time in Falls City
his jeep carrying Doug fir in the midst
Of the few fascists
Jews jews jews
Saved in the mid west
And I ponder its 200 years of existence
selfishly
while my German grandfather burry’s the bodies of Americans
gray hairs
during World War One
his whereabouts
concealed
not knowing what it means
to be a
torn up immigrant
by the light of day
parents marriage in poverty
by my parents churn of un human clamber
after one month of love
marriage failing at 39 years of artlessness
sick first year in Nebraska
sex ending in disparity
holding on
to nothing
hiding in Emmitt Kelly’s
antics
our children are
resorting
to these tree’s magnitude
and grandeur
exemplifying these trees I trust in
the Ozarks leaving us
Susan waiting for the dead
SUSAN where I was born
and driven home in mini vans
with my sisters concerned
Rolla Missouri
To the Willamette valley scattered
22 years
amongst
my wineries
and shame
where wilderness
on Christmas eve
comes bearing gifts in the morning
viewed by my friends as flattering
returning boys who murdered my next of kin
my dog buried
in the reservoirs
willingly sinking
climbing these steeples of our fathers churches
ignoring threats
and burgeons
of these three distant chimes of the catholic churches bells
old fishermen crucified by the
Joy in the world
solemn in thetelevisions glare
crucifix hanging between my V-neck
and my t- shirt’ s chest
where the burns I received on
Easter morning ruin my
drunken neighbors wifes ceremonies
and my fathers half assed attempts at reconstruction
are astonishing
romances half conceived ends
while money is laundered
by the stale glare of the hospitals
light poles
you poured your heart out
Through your window shades and glares
you told me you were a saint
sorry Your father was a recruiter
I too young too heed the call
For religion and or war
to young to hear
The guttural yearnings of
the hemlocks end job on Socrates
The Endless doubt of
Descartes
becoming my own
Saturday, February 21, 2009
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